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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Pregnancy Fears

I'm scared. I'm scared because I am five weeks pregnant and I have no symptoms that I usually have. I am not sick, smells are not revolting to me and I feel normal, just fine.

Which makes me wonder, am I pregnant? Is there a live baby in there...or did I lose it already?? And I want another baby so bad, that this overwhelming fear weighs on me, and makes my heart heavy.

Every time I see a newborn, those precious just from heaven babies, I melt. And the thought stirs me, I'm ready, ready for another baby.

And I know I'm only five weeks along, but I I recall those horrible symptoms being nearly instantaneous. As crazy as it sounds, those symptoms also brought comfort. Like I always knew I was pregnant because the harsh reality was I wouldn't be throwing up like a crazy if I wasn't. Never mind I could not manage to take care of myself let alone Elly.

Oh I am just scared and I don't know what to do about it. I called the doctor the other day and set up an appointment, but they don't want to see me until I am nine weeks along!! Usually they take me at the very latest seven weeks. I guess things have changed.

What should I do?


Sent from my iPhone


4 comments:

Celeste said...

Congrats:) I remember finding out about Sam when I was barely 4 weeks. (just for reference I was 20 weeks before I knew about Audrey and 7 with Adam)

Since I didn't know how far along I was, they did an immediate ultrasound and saw nothing but an empty sac.

They told me to wait 2 weeks (?!!!) for another ultrasound to find out if there really was a baby in there. It was the longest, hardest 2 weeks i've experienced ever, and I never had any symptoms until 6 weeks or so.

Give it a week to 10 days and try not to worry.

Danielle said...

Celeste, wow that had to be so scary not knowing. How did you not know you were twenty weeks along!! Agh!!! Did you still get your period and not have nausea?

Celeste said...

Haha, didn't know you responded on here. I have PCOS, which is a fancy way of saying I don't cycle regularly. After 2 years of nothing, we just gave up and figured we'd need to adopt or fertility later. 6 months later I got pregnant, but I was never sick except for 1 day. I started getting heartburn consistently at about 13 weeks and finally called up a clinic at Doug's advice. They said I was pregnant, and we didn't believe it. Guess who was wrong?

Susan Staus said...

Congrats!!!!!!
Maybe it's a boy this time?!!!??!!!
Sorry to hear! Maybe you need a new doctor! My doctor with JJ wouldn't take me till I was 9-10 weeks. But my doc with the last 2 took me right away!! Love my new doctors!!! And one of the doctors there, there's about 5 of them, is a member of the Reading 2nd ward. Which was awesome because he has the Holy Ghost with him all the time and is right there for a blessing or whatever right away! And he knows us and is totally understanding and everything. I remember when Mackenzie was sideways and he was saying I'd need a c-section and what not, it was right when JJ was to graduate preschool, or right before that he wanted to schedule it and I explained why I didn't want to and he was totally cool with waiting even though they don't normally do that. and I looked him in the eye and said she'll turn and he just said "okay." I think other doctors wouldn't have given me the chance to try and flip her cuz I was 38 1/2 weeks and that's when they do the c-section of they aren't head down. I looked up stuff online and did it and she flipped. And where I go the doctors can do ultrasounds and will if they want to see the baby. Tory, Dr. Peterson, was always do ultrasounds for me! It was awesome! Come to Reading for your OB!!!
Good luck!!!!
FB or email me and let me know how it's going!