Some Words and A Date Based Upon Trust

"Trust Opens Up New and Unimaginable Possibilities"
Robert C Solomon
Danny left this for me this morning-what a guy!  I love him.

Disclaimer:  I am no expert on such a subject.  I'm continually striving to trust in the Lord and my spouse.  Also there are serious subjects I mention that I do not have personal experience in.  I have only observed and discussed these topics with people who were successful in rebuilding trust and failed in doing so resulting in divorce.
A Great Marriage is built upon trust, right?  Sometimes it's hard to develop trust in someone else, even our spouses.  Maybe we have been let down by them before.  Is it small simple annoyances? They forgot to take the trash out, they are late for dinner, they only contribute to messes and never help clean?  In these cases we must remember is no one is perfect, not even ourselves.   We all make mistakes, overlook needs of our loved ones and fail to contribute where we are needed.
 It's crazy because I find we can be much kinder to acquaintances.  But when it comes to family, well none of us seem to be immune to bouts of flaring anger meshed with ferocious yelling.  Okay maybe some of you are immune-but for the rest of us that deal with this as well as icy thoughts of judgement, dagger like stares, frosty impatience and grueling hook and twine grudges, please: know there is hope.

When the scope of trust is broken by more serious things such as pornography, infidelity, drug addictions and abuse, there needs to be a strong commitment to change.  I am certainly no expert at this stuff.  It is deep and painful to watch.  I have witnessed many friends, acquaintances and family go through such agony.  I have seen many sad outcomes resulting in divorce, very few that have braved through the tragedy.  For those that have overcame the heart ache, I observed and talked with them about the steps they took.  Although they didn't use these specific terms for their success, I noticed these are the things they did.
1) Trust involves a willingness to change between both parties, a willing to sacrifice.  Counseling,  Prayer, and a resolution to steer clear of addictions, distractions temptations.  This may mean giving up Internet, cell phones, your favorite bar.
2) Trust is relying on your Heavenly Father to help ease your burdens and melt away the pain.  Prayer is the strongest medicine.  Humble hearts and genuine prayers invoke a calming peace almost instantaneously.   
3) Trust doesn't happen overnight. It happens in small quiet moments, a consistent caress of the back, a soft peck on the cheek, a load of laundry done, arriving home in time for dinner and several consistent mundane, but mountainous acts of loyalty. Trust is developed through small acts of service. Sometimes it is inconvenient, a itching annoyance that you have no desire to do...but you do it, because it is for the better of the marriage. 
4) Being honest and open about one anothers feelings and actions, presenting these emotions in a non threatening, tender way.
5) Forgiving one another.  The hardest act to follow through with-because it is a heart issue.  You can't just say alright sure, I forgive you.  You need to work it out in your heart, humble yourself and ask God for strength to do so. 
   I am sure there is much more to building trust-but I mustn't make this too long, since I have a date to share with you.  Also if you want some great blogs that share about such things please check out: http://ablogaboutlove.com 


A Date Built Upon Trust



Danny planned the date last week, giving myself a much needed  break from all this hub bub.  It was a Micro Date after the kiddies went to bed.  A juicing test.  You see we bought a juicer a couple weeks ago and are in love with it.  We juice everyday for breakfast.  But this date was in the evening and very different from the usual. 
Step 1- I was blindfolded, yes, I couldn't see a thing.  Danny had several cups of juice for me to try out. 
Step 2- I had to guess what I was drinking.  I got only 1/2 of them right which means I don't really know my fruit, do I??  He fooled my by throwing kale in there.  I wasn't a fan-who knew??  Well I do now, juiced kale alone, is sorta yucky to my taste buds. 
Step 3- Danny bet against me guessing them all- I bet for me guessing more than half.  Since I only guessed half, Danny got the free back massage.  We love our back massages. 
We had a good ole time, and I enjoyed trusting in Danny as he handed me different juices to try-even though he did trip me when I asked for some water and he handed me the kale again.  ;-)  That's alright, his sense of humor is what I love about him. 
Happy Dating!!

Comments

Samantha said…
I love the message on the mirror - Brian left me one in the fog on our bathroom mirror awhile back, and it took me more than a week to notice! He had written it above my eye level :( It was sweet anyway, though... :)
April 17, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Danielle said…
Oh that's funny-well its the thought that counts. :-)
April 18, 2012 at 1:02 PM
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