Making Goals in Our Marriage
I have a wise neighbor who has been married almost 54 years. She has 8 grandchildren, some of which have recently tied the knot. In honor of these marriages, she decided to write a book about creating a loving and special marriage. She has since then, published it and given it out as wedding gifts. What a wonderful gift: to gain knowledge, wisdom, and experience from someone who has been there before. One can only benefit from such a book. Side note: I’m lucky enough to have a copy.
I’ve decided to share with you a tidbit that I learned from this book as well as in my own marriage experience. Making GOALS! Goal Setting has been fantastic for Danny and me. If you think about this, it really makes sense. Most of us make individual goals, for our health, career and new talents that we want to build on; but we leave companionship goals by the wayside. Why do we do that? We want to improve the rest of our lives, so why leave the marriage factor out? Do you find yourself doing this? I admit there are times when Danny and I falter, but once we recognize it we jump back on the band wagon and get going.
How can we make goals with our spouse? What kind of goals should they be? Will they even work? Let me make a few suggestions that have helped out the hubby and I, as well as my sweet neighbor.
1) Goals do not have to be BIG. In fact it is the very small, very consistent changes we make that create the most PROFOUND outcome.
2) In what ways do you want to improve your marriage? Take a step back and make list of your wants and needs in a healthy and trusting relationship. Have your finances gotten out of control? Have you stopped dating each other? Has intimacy gone out the window? Do you chat about your dreams anymore? Do you laugh together? Do you need some spiritual goals? Do you trust one another? Write out all the details in which you are lacking.
3) Once the needs are established, create a “to do” list to improve upon. The “to do” list does not have to be long or expensive. In fact the less goals and more simple and consistent they are the better. I recommend starting out with one simple change. Here are a few examples if you need ideas or help
1) If you are in dire need of a weekly date night but don’t have the money for a sitter and night out, get creative. Put the kids to bed early, play some board games, go outside, sip some cocoa and gaze up at the stars. Share your dreams and get creative.
2) If you are working on spiritual goals, a daily verse from the scriptures and companionship prayer can do the trick
3) Need to make a major change in the finances, start by cutting out one bill for a month, and then add another. Small consistent changes create successful and lasting outcomes.
4) PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!! Once you have the goals established and the course of action, follow through and do it. If goals were easy to accomplish, then we would all be millionaires with blissful marriages. Some days are harder than others, but if we keep out at the rewards are endless.
5) Once the first goal is mastered-which should take about thirty days, add another. Remember to Keep It Simple Sweetie. Small and Consistent, keep telling yourself this, keep doing this and our will keep seeing positive outcomes.
I Hope this pushes you to better marriage and to give it a try. I can attest that it WORKS!! Marriage can be a little heaven on earth, so long as we make it a GOAL!!