Cry Baby vs Yelling Monster

   
     Ellyanna is a crier.  No, not a town crier, I mean a real live tears streaming down her face whining, moaning, stomping her feet, pouting, full on cry baby.  I love her so, she is a sweet heart and a BIG helper, except when her feelings are hurt.  Might I add, that every other minute, unfortunately her feelings are being hurt.  If she says something adorable (which also happens to be every other minute) and I smile sweetly at her, she takes this as an offense and asks
"Mommy why are you smiling at me?"
If she hasn't broken down in tears by the time the questions squeaks out of her then I will explain:
"Because you are so cute and say the sweetest things"
After what I conider to be a kind comment, her lip quivers and a small frown appears.  I can see the salty tears glistening in her eyes.
"But I don't like it when you call me cute."
I have searched for substitute words countless times; your so sweet, smart, pretty, adorable, all too which do not seem acceptable to her.  It is as if her little mind is made upt to be offended.  What do I do!?!?
Then there are the times I ask for her to do her chores before preschool: make her bed, get dressed, take out the trash.  These times I get this answer: 
"I don't want to.  I'm tired, I don't feel good."
This is usually followed by dramatic whining and falling into her bed as the tears spray out.  Do you know where my daughter gets this from?  Me, I'm 99%  sure of it.  I have a flare for the dramatic as well as an emotional side.  So naturally when the drama comes out in Elly...well the drama comes out in me, in the form of yelling.
"Ellyanna May, get up, make your bed and get dressed.  You will NOT go to (dance class, preschool, nonna's house) if you do not do your chores!"
It becomes a dance, Elly cries and I yell.  Elly shouts
"You don't love me!"
I shout
"I love you, but I DON'T love how you are acting!" (in a harsh tone with beady red eyes burning into hers)
This carries on, till she is sentenced to her room where she is stuck till the crying has ceased.  Oh the humanity!
    Unfortunately, I am NOT the only one who holds the power to turn on Elly's water works.  Daddy, her friends, even grandparents have seen the sensitive side.  Although I love this part about her (she can be very pateint and kind with her sister) I also can't take it!!  I'm worried about when school starts and the water works begin there.  SOMEONE TELL ME what can I do to stop the crying and help her to control her emotions?  I  know my reaction is a BIG part of it, so please instruct me on how I can change!!

Side note: It's pretty obvious I'm not a very good momma. 

Comments

Lori Hinsdale said…
Oh man, I would love to give you all the advice I give the parents who come to my office. However, contrary to what you posted, you are a wonderful mother. You'll figure it out. There is just one thing that I have heard that stays with me. The root word of discipline is 'disciple'. :) Good luck, captain!
February 9, 2012 at 4:56 PM
CTR Mama said…
You are a good momma! You just have one of those less-than-easy children. Lots of us have those! I'll send you the title of a book that saved my life when Anna was younger. It won't help her tears (that will come), but it may help you stop contributing to the drama. Hang in there. They grow up, I promise!
February 9, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Danielle said…
Thanks guys! I definitely need that book title! Oh my, kiddies are lots of fun AND lots of work.
February 9, 2012 at 7:40 PM
Andrea said…
Yes, Danielle, you are...normal!! That's how 3 year olds are, at least from my experience;) There's a book, a household united by nicholeen peck. She's speaks at a lot of homeschool events out here. i haven't read it but I've heard it's principles and if it fits your parenting/child style, why not try it. I think kids eventually grow out of it, too. Er..I'm still waiting for that part on myself ;0 LOL.
February 10, 2012 at 11:36 PM
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