The Best Of PA

He was gone. Josh had flown home and abandoned me with a gripping anxiety. My fears and thoughts were as fresh and frozen as that blustery month of March . But it didn't stop me from saying them, those three little words before our parting...I love you. They came from both of our lips. I had been giddy when it happened...but now all I could feel was a jumble of pins and needles swirling in my stomach. We barely knew each other. I mean, we did, but not romantically, not deeply enough. Was this right?? There are billions of people out there...was I picking the right person for me?? Prayer became a constant facet to my life. And I was desperately pleading for some deliberate sign....like a huge flashing metal contraption above my bed that said: "Marry Him!!" or "Don't Do It!!" We talked for hours every night on the phone. We could laugh and joke about things...it felt comfortable.. until we hung up. Then doubt and fear crept th...

Elly: Mommy why do you watch movies with bad words? Me: I don't know. I watch movies with bad words?? Elly: Yes at Nonna and Pop pops. I had no idea what she was talking about. Until I thought about it more. We slept over Nonna and Pop Pops house. We were snowed in and ate pop corn and hot cocoa. When it was time for the kids bedtime, I tucked them in the spare room and left for the living room. My parents rented movies and the PG-13 movie "Total Recall" was playing (the new one). Lots of Action, Adventure, Intrigue and...cursing. Brinley was sound asleep, but Elly was not sleeping well. She sneaked her way into the living room more than once to complain she wasn't tired. Yes I had watched a foul mouthed movie, a many, but this time I was caught. Me: "I'm sorry Elly. I promise to watch better movies. Mommy will not watch movies with bad words.". Elly: "Heavenly Father does not like us to watch movies with bad words." Gu...

In a fit of insecurity and second thoughts I decided I had been wrong. I loved him, I must have if suddenly MY: attraction to him was strengthened, our conversations flowed with ease, and the anxiety had completely melted. I had screwed up. I let some silly fear get in the way, that must have been it!! Why did he seem soo irresistible suddenly if I wasn't meant to be with him?? Once again just days after the break up, I called him up. "Hey Josh" "Hey, how was your day?" "Good. So..I've been thinking." I heard him swallow hard "yeah?" "Well, it's just that our conversations have been so good lately." "Yeah". His voice perked up. "And well my doubts and fears are completely gone." "Yeah?" "I just don't know what I was thinking because...I love you." There was a long pause before any answer and I held my breathe. I blew it, I just blew it. "A...

He was gone. Josh had flown home and abandoned me with a gripping anxiety. My fears and thoughts were as fresh and frozen as that blustery month of March . But it didn't stop me from saying them, those three little words before our parting...I love you. They came from both of our lips. I had been giddy when it happened...but now all I could feel was a jumble of pins and needles swirling in my stomach. We barely knew each other. I mean, we did, but not romantically, not deeply enough. Was this right?? There are billions of people out there...was I picking the right person for me?? Prayer became a constant facet to my life. And I was desperately pleading for some deliberate sign....like a huge flashing metal contraption above my bed that said: "Marry Him!!" or "Don't Do It!!" We talked for hours every night on the phone. We could laugh and joke about things...it felt comfortable.. until we hung up. Then doubt and fear crept th...

To tell my love story, I have to start from the beginning, which involves a mini love story before the love story-a chance for you to see the real confused and pushy jerk within me. We all have doubts and confusion about what is the right thing to do, what we really truly want in life, just most of you aren't crazy ridiculous like me. No matter,I will still share the story, because it is the story of me...and how I eventually met and married the love of my forever, Danny. Enjoy! It is a little bit all over the place and yeah I don't edit-no time for that. And feel free to judge.::::: "I'm not supposed to be here!" The words rattled into my head. Here I was standing in the hallway of a church building awaiting for the young single adult festivities to officially begin. Men and women bustled about, introducing themselves, laughing, playing games, while I stood there frozen in place, my heart beating with anxiety. After all, I didn't belong here, I ...

1) Think about the lyrics of popular songs and the meanings behind them. These days I've become a fan of classical music. 2) Try to Read all the Classics, that I should have read in school, but had no desire to do because I was WAY to busy socializing. 3) Really try to dress modestly. I believe I tried my Darndest to do the opposite before growing up and serving a mission. 4) Attempt to make MOST things homemade. It was all about the fancy brands before I knew how much LIFE cost. Turns out homemade is always better.